


Destiel

by Pepsi_Or_Coke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anything goes I guess, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean Winchester, Dean is pregnant, Demon Dean, Depression, Gen, Idk as the account I had is deleted, M/M, Posted on Fanfiction, Sam is an awesome little bro, Self Harming, Suicide Attempt, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Dean Winchester, idk - Freeform, mpreg later on, whoops!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19287727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepsi_Or_Coke/pseuds/Pepsi_Or_Coke
Summary: A book filled with oneshots about Cas and his relationship with Dean





	1. The End of Tomorrow

Dean: I always knew in time I would lose him, but I wasn't ready for that day to come now. Now, I feel nothing almost. I don't know whether to cry, laugh, be angry and kill everything and one in my way, or remain in this state of shock. Sam is getting worried about me as I haven't left my room in three days now and I can see why. I look dead almost, seeing my reflection in the mirror. It angers me most and before I knew it, I punched the mirror, shattering it. Glass everywhere and some in my fist. I didn't care, I felt pain, I knew I was somewhat alive. I took care of my hand before like a child, sit down and held what little I had of Cas. Almost hoping it would bring the angel back and in my arms again. But nothing happens. And at that moment was when I realized I was crying. It pained me losing Cas and it finally hit me to know he's not coming back. And did it hit me hard...

Sam: I heard it. The glass breaking and now Dean crying. I knew he finally broke over Cas's death. Hell, I'm still processing what happened. I never really questioned their "bond" as it wasn't my concern as long as Cas was here with us and for us. But, seeing the look in Dean's eyes, it made me realize just how important Cas was to Dean and the thought of losing him, it's now killing him. I hoped it was a nightmare. That Dean and I will wake up and Cas will be there, yet nothing. For three days. I gave Dean his space but tomorrow I am going to start making him come out of his room and eat or so help me, will I too lose my brother

-1:20 am-

Dean: I couldn't sleep, everytime I close my eyes I see him. His smile, his blue eyes, that trenchcoat...the trenchcoat I have now. I sighed, I wished he would come back. I felt actually pretty cold and alone in my room. And the stars were laughing at me as they shine and twinkled. A mock it all was anymore. I couldn't really stand it and I went outside. I hopped into Baby and drove off to who knows where. I couldn't sleep and I wanted my Cas back. And if not, somehow meet him in the afterlife. I drove until the sun was high and it was miserably hot, but I kept driving, reaching for a large lake out of plain view from the roads. I stopped Baby and got out, now noticing I carried Cas's trenchcoat. I laughed bitterly that even when trying to kill myself, he's still the last person with me or on my mind. I walked up to the lake and start to walk in it. "You shouldn't be doing this, Dean. What about Sam, Bobby, or everyone who needs you?" Someone walks up to me and sets their hand on my shoulder and everything was once again killing me. "You're not real..." I said numbly but God did I want you to be. I was suffocating by my own fucked up emotions but I didn't care. I just wanted Cas, my Cas, back. I felt like I was being dragged onto shore and roughly turned around. The blue eyes, filled with pain and concern and regret, and I just broke. I held Cas close while mostly cussing at him for doing this to me. He slightly pushed me back and I actually growled as I was getting pissed. But what shocked me was him kissing me and I froze. Unsure what to do or say. He pulled back and I stared at him. "I'm sorry, Dean. I never wanted to hurt you. Not this way." I blinked, thinking and not really trusting my words as I might personally end up killing him myself, I just kissed him which he gladly accepts. Guess we got some things to fix...and some things to tell Sam. But that can wait. For now, I just want to spend the time with my angel


	2. It's Still Dean

(Morning)

'It's still Dean,' I tell myself as I walked past him in the halls. Yet, I can't look at him fully. Anger and disappointment swells my heart. I failed you and I'm sorry

(Afternoon)

'It's still Dean,' I say when he's pissed off as he can't control himself to kill someone for food. I can't look at him for fear of seeing his eyes or that smirk. It twists my stomach knowing I couldn't save you from Crowley and making you his play toy, and I'm so sorry...

(Mid Day)

'It's still Dean,' I think as I'm sitting between his legs and enjoying us watching a movie as he pets me. Spoiling me like a precious pet worth millions. Enjoying his love as him human

(Night)

'It's still Dean,' I scream as he hits a certain spot that makes me see stars. Hearing him moaning my name in my ear before  _feeling_  that smirk that sends chill down my spine. I look up to not see his green, forest eyes but pure darkness as they shine black with what little light. I see him frowning, soon  _his_  eyes return. I didn't care, setting my hand on his cheek. "It's still you, Dean. I love you," I whispered, kissing him. He kissed back, telling me he loves me. I hold him, never leaving him. Human or demon, he's still my Dean


	3. It's Me Or The Pie, Dean

(Based on a small fanfic I read or an art I saw. Wouldn't be surprised if it was both, lol)

Cas: *he was tapping his foot while death glaring at Dean. He was in his robe as he thought he and Dean would have some fun tonight but yet here he was. Staring at Dean as he watching TV and eating that fucking pie* 'I swear he loves pie more than his own husband' *he was hurt and he was getting more angry with the man* Dean

Dean: *looks up at him with a mouth full of pie. He did not like the glare Cas was sending him and he dryly swallowed what was in his mouth* yes?

Cas: I swear you seem to forget things when you see pie. Sometimes I actually believe you love pie more than me, YOUR HUSBAND, might I add. it's upsetting especially when you came back after three months and you promised me a night and yet here you are. Sitting in front of the TV with pie *tears in his eyes as he hugs himself*

Dean: *he looked at the pie, now tasting like regret before he sets it down and gets up. He goes over to Cas and hugs him tight* babe I didn't mean to hut you. I swear. I'm so sorry

Cas: *he sighs and hugs back* I missed you and I feel almost replaced 'by pie!' and I just wanted us to have a night. No hunting, no monsters, no nothing. Just us *he gives him his best puppy eyes and a little pout*

Dean: *he looked at him with a mischievous smirk* we can *his voice dropped in a deep, sexy tone*

Cas: *he bites his lip to NOT moan out like slut* please

Dean: *he kissed him roughly* anything

Cas: *he drags him upstairs, stripping him* you better, damn it *he lightly growled as the door closed*


	4. Author's Note

No sex scenes yet, sorry. I will soon if people want to see some Dean x Cas action. Also, in case you guys haven't noticed (it's hard not to) I've been writing in different ways and I'm kind of hoping you guys would tell me in the comments of the 4 (yes 4. There will be a fourth chapter soon) chapters, which writing style you like best and from now on I'll write like that. Hope you guys enjoy this book so far


	5. Starlit Sky

Cas's POV:

I tiredly dressed up for the bitter, cold night as my boyfriend, Dean, rushes me. He wants to show me something and how can I not turn the offer down. His green eyes shine like an excited kid on Christmas and basically jumping off the wall. After I put on my shoes and coat, he grabbed my hand and pulled me outside. I hated the cold, so I curled up against him for warmth

Dean's POV:

I waited until it was dark outside before I ran into my room and jumped onto Cas to wake his happy ass up. You see, Cas has never seen stars before as he lives in the city and I thought tonight I can change that. "You up yet?!" I was excited to see his expression and I was rushing him to get out here before it grew too cold for us. When he put on her coat I grabbed his hand and dragged him outside to Baby (my car). I felt him lean against me and I wrapped an arm around him. I know he hates the cold but this is worth it. I sat on the hood and looked at him. He looks cute with messy hair and his cutely rubbing his eye as he yawns

Cas's POV:

I was not happy but the way he looked at me, I knew he's planning something. I sat next to him, curling up against him for warmth. "Why are we out here, Dean?"

Dean's POV:

I kissed his head. "You told me how you never saw stars and I wanted to change that tonight for you"

Cas's POV:

I looked up at him then the dark sky to see a mix of white, blue, green orange, and red dots. The moon was also out and it seems to shine on us. For once I forgot how to breathe as it was beautiful. I didn't have any words to it but one. "Why now?" I looked at him but I was more so looking at the stars around us

Dean's POV:

The awe and beauty shined in his eyes and I held him close to me. "Why now?" he asked and I knew he can see the pain in my eyes. "Because when my mom died, I always came out here, on that day, and I can almost feel her watching me. As a kid, she told me angels were watching out for me and I always saw the stars as angels. It's stupid, I know-"

Cas's POV:

"No, it's not." I kissed him to shut him up. I knew his mother died from murder but I never knew anything else and I didn't want to pry as I know it upsets him. "I don't believe that, Dean. And I'm sorry for what happened with Mary, but this is beautiful. Thank you for showing me this"

Dean's POV:

I kissed him back, thanking him for being there for my brother and I and being the best. There were no words needed now as Cas cuddles with me and us watching the stars before we retreated inside as it got too cold. I am the luckiest man to have someone like Cas and I will cherish him until the day I die


	6. I'm Not Letting You Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'll wait for you guys to vote on which writing style you like best, but I'm having a semi anxiety attack, and my depression is getting the best of me as well, and I need to write. Fair warning on this chapter and future chapters: this will talk about MY personal anxiety attack and what I do when having an anxiety attack. It will consist of self-harm, cussing, breakdowns, and anything else in it. Please have respect that's all I ask

Cas: I can't stop. I'm scared, I'm angry, and I can't stop looking at the razor. I can't think, I can't move, I can't calm down no matter what I do. The room feels like it's spinning and I want to cut. I can almost feel them as I reached for the razor and brought the blade over my skin. Pain, blood, and a bit of peace washed over me as I cut. I lost count before finally stopping. I sat there against the bathroom wall as my mind went blank

Dean: I was rushing to get to Cas as he sent me a text message of how he was going to kill himself. I was speeding, I was scared I will find him dead, I couldn't stop thinking as I raced to reach him. I called 911 and an ambulance should be here in an hour and that pissed me off as it could be too late. I see Cas's house and I felt relieved but know he's not out of the woods. I stopped the car and dashed in. "CAS?! CAS WHERE ARE YOU?!" I ran through all the rooms I saw before I saw a small room. I felt sick and I walked slowly to it to see Cas and so much blood. "Cas?!" I went quickly to him and held him close. I looked for a pulse and felt one. He's alive but unconscious and badly bleeding. I was panicking and I wasn't thinking as I took off my shirt and tightly tied it to his arm. I held him and whimpered, worried if he'll be okay. "Cas please stay with me. Please, baby, stay with me," I whispered as I pet his hair, crying and panicking more. I didn't know what to do but I heard sirens. 'Thank fucking God. Please hang on Cas.' I picked him up and ran out. "HEY!" I screamed, flagging them down. All was a blur after that...

*a few weeks later*

Cas: it seems life was hell no matter what I did to fix it. I'm in the bathroom having an anxiety attack and I couldn't breathe. I was getting scared. 'Dean...' I couldn't cry, scream, nothing. I was a crying mess as I tear some of my hair out. Thank the lord Dean came home. "Cas?!" He called out. I mastered what little will and cried out, "B-BA-BATHROOM" I hate myself as I fucking couldn't talk without stuttering and nearly choking. I heard Dean running upstairs and soon is next to me, holding me. I cling to him as he rubs my arm and back and whispering to me. I slowly calmed down enough to talk but I didn't want to. I held to him. "I'm sorry," I said

Dean: "why are you sorry? You're doing nothing wrong, it's okay baby." I said and kissed his forehead. I lean onto the wall and pulled him onto my lap, hugging him tightly. "Just relax, I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere until you are ready"

Cas: I just nodded, snuggling into him. I was tired and I wanted nothing more than me and Dean cuddling. "I love you"

Dean: "I love you too. So fucking much." I kissed his head, knowing he's gonna pass out and knows he deserves to hear that. "Just rest, baby"

Cas: I smiled lightly, nodding at his order

~Sometimes I wonder who's the real angel because I know I would be dead without having Dean in my life. And I'm grateful for that~


	7. Our Little Family

Dean: "Cas..." I whined out. Being pregnant wasn't something we needed to worry, but guess what, I'M FUCKING PREGNANT AND THEY ARE KICKING!

Cas: "yes, Dean?" I peaked around the corner from the kitchen, cooking dinner for us

Dean: "pain, kicking, stop it." I was in a bad mood from lack of sleep but also I had to miss lunch for a checkup and now I have to deal with this. I hated it and I know Cas hates seeing me in pain which makes me feel bad whenever mood swings kick in and I take it out on him. "Love me?" God what am I doing anymore

Cas: I smiled at the request and I went over to him and sat down next to him. "What exactly do you want?" Dean's not one to show a lot of emotions from anger, sadness, protection, fear, and very little moments of peace and happiness. His emotions can flare up with one wrong word

Dean: I was in a lot of pain and I felt as if I was going to throw up. "They're kicking, Cas. Please make them stop." What I didn't expect was a warm hand on my stomach, rubbing the area they were going off on me. It was surprisingly pleasant. I didn't remember closing my eyes much less falling asleep until later on when Cas was gently shaking me and telling me dinner was ready. To say the least, I wasn't hungry for food but for Cas. I wanted him and I made it clear what I wanted when I kissed him roughly. It turned me on more when he growled and I moan. I felt his hands on me and I lost it, we both did


	8. Benefits Of Being Pregnant

Dean: pain, hungry, throwing up, being pissed off one minute and the next a fucking girl. I hate it all. We didn't this it was possible for me to get pregnant, it never crossed our minds if it was possible. Only pisses me off more knowing with little research we wouldn't be in this mess. Now thinking about it, I only realized how cold and hateful I am to the unborn. It's not their fault of their existence, and now here, laying on the couch and feeling the kid moving around, I hate myself for thinking about wishing for this to not be happening. I'm not a monster and I will protect this child from the supernatural world. Knowing they are half human and half angel, it only makes them more at risk and I'll be damned if anything happens to my baby. I'm tired, got a headache, and wish Cas was here to stop the pain in my head and heart. not having to look up, I already know Cas is here. I don't need to call for him as it's like he can sense when I need him. I scoot over on the bed for him to get on and I curled up to him. I closed my eyes as he holds me close. There's no need for words to say how we feel, we can just feel it. A deep love and protection and need swarms around us, wrapping us up in a cozy blanket and setting us off to sleep. Protecting us from what the world is becoming in the background. It's a mad world but I have no doubt my child will live and fight like her parents and uncle do. Pride fills my heart and a smile forms on my lips. I love them more than hate. I promise my kid will have a normal childhood as best to what I and Sammy had. "I love you Dean," was the last thing I heard as for once I fell asleep with Cas holding me and our hands hooked and set on my stomach where  _ **our**_  child is


	9. Wow, Cas

(A funny oneshot I've been dying to do)

Cas: *watching a drunken woman flirting with  _his_  Dean. Anxiety and fear fills his little heart as he feels Dean will go with the woman than him. And that doesn't sit well*

Woman: "want to leave this dump and go back to my place~?" *she traces Dean's arm up and down*

Dean: *he shrugs her off and down his shot before standing up* "Cas let's go,  ** _now_** "

Cas: *if he had a tail, it would be wagging as he happily goes over to Dean and holds his hand. All worry brush aside as they almost got outside*

Woman: "and where are you going?!" *she, with struggle, gets up and marches up to them*

Dean: "leaving. I don't want anything to do with you and I wasn't going to make my...boyfriend suffer by watching you throw yourself at me" *he held Cas close, his hand on his ass*

Cas: *he blushes and hides his face in his neck* "Dean please, I want to leave" *he mumbled quietly*

Woman: "you talking about me, tramp?! Maybe say it to my face if you got the balls!" *she got louder as the bar got quiet, watching what was happening*

Dean: *he clenched his fist in anger* "who the hell are you to call my boyfriend a-"

Cas: "the only tramp here is you. I only got one man yet you've been sleeping around almost every night. Not to mention, on your hand is a wedding ring. If I'm not mistaken, You would be what others called a slut or a whore. And to do this behind your husband makes you ten times worse than flirting and trying to sleep with my man in front of me as well as trying to fight me. Dean doesn't want you and a good thing too, stank" *he said with venom and disgust*

*the bar was quiet with pure shock in some and a lot of applause from others*

Cas: "now if you excuse us, I plan on enjoying the night when he rocks my world" *he drags a wide eye Dean out of there with the woman still fighting to come up with something. Cheers coming from the bar*

Dean: ... "Rocking your world, huh? Do you even know what that means?"

Cas: "sex right? Or...no?" *facing him with his cute confused puppy eyes*

Dean: "wow...for real?" *giving him a weird look*

Cas: ... "I don't understand, Dean"

Dean: "sex it is" *pulling Cas behind him to the nearest hotel*


	10. Angel In heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this is guy x guy. Don't like, don't read. Or if offended...well it's not my fault. Enjoy!

Dean: *pacing in his room as for three days he hasn't heard or seen Cas and he was getting worried* 'Cas where are you...'

*up in heaven*

Cas: *hiding from everyone as he whimpers out. Heat flares up through his body* 'Dean~'

Gabriel: "dear brother of mine" *he walks closer to Cas* "why are you here and not with him?"

Cas: "Gabriel you know why. And how did you get in here" *he growled*

Gabriel: "Castiel you know damn well Dean will help you through this. Now get up and go to him" *he demanded, worried about his brother's health*

Cas: *he closed his eyes, another heat ran through his body* "help me, brother. I have no grace to use"

Gabriel: *he set his hand on him and surrounds his grace around Cas* "don't think about coming back. The war is almost over. I'll be there soon. Keep Sam and Dean safe until then. Stay hidden"

Cas: *he looks at Gabriel with confusion, worried, and fear but before he asked anything, he was in Dean's room*

Dean: "Cas?" *he goes over to the angel with concern in his eyes* "what the hell happened?"

Cas: *he groaned* "n-nothing. Just help me get out of my clothes" *he started to remove his trenchcoat*

Dean: "whoa, whoa, why? What the fuck is going on?" *he held Cas's shoulders*

Cas: "Dean, I'm in heat and you're not helping me. Please" *he said desperately*

Dean: *processing heat and him not helping before he strips Cas out of his clothes*

Cas: *he sighed in some relief, curling in a ball*

Dean: *he checks over Cas before setting his mind and gets up to remove his clothes*

Cas: "what are you doing?" *he whimpered out*

Dean: "helping you...I don't know what to do, Cas" *he looked at the flustered angel as he hovers over him*

Cas: *he leaned up and kissed him roughly* "anything, Alpha~"

Dean: *he growled out, thrusting his tongue into his mouth as they both moaned*

Dean: *has three fingers in Cas* "you ready~?" *he said softly as he removes them*

Cas: "fuck~" *he arched his back, his eyes tightly closed in pleasure* "yes, please, already" *he moaned out*

Dean: *he brings Cas's legs over his shoulder and thrusts in him slowly* "fuck, you're tight~"

Cas: "ahhh~, Dean~!" *clawing the bed*

Dean: *he held his hand tight as he slowly moves* "look at me, Cas~"

Cas: *he moaned out, looking at Dean through one eye* "I love you~"

Dean: "God I love you too" *he moves faster and harder* "I love you so much"

Cas: *he closes his eye as pleasure burns through his body* "I'm going to cum~"

Dean: "cum for me, baby~" *stroking his dick*

Cas: "AHH~ DEAN~!" *he came in his hand and their chest, his vision going white before darkness consumed him*

-time skip-

Cas: *he heavily breathed in, slowly waking up. His face in Dean's chest and his arms around him protectively. He lightly smiled and kissed his shoulder before snuggling up more in him and closes his eyes. The soft thumps of Deans heart and his breathing lulls him back to sleep*


	11. Author's Note #2

I just want to say, because I am limited on ideas, I am going to call this oneshot a "complete" story unless I get more ideas or you guys give me ideas, then I'll just add them in. But until then, this is it


End file.
